23 September 2011

Valve-powered dreams

I had the strangest of dreams last night. Nothing new there, you may say, but bear with me.

I was demonstrating my new mobile phone to my best friend Dave and Gene Wilder. (Yes, Willy Wonka himself. The randomness of this already has me puzzled.) Thing is, although it evidently was my actual new mobile phone, because around the edge it was metallic green (see my previous post), the device I was holding certainly wasn't your average Nokia smartphone. It was a glass case containing numerous valves - like one of those incredibly expensive retro amplifiers - and a considerable amount of space. It was bigger on the inside than the outside, tardis-fashion.

If the workings were a thing of beauty, the display was exquisite. The letters on the screen were traced out as if by the action of a cloud chamber, in something akin to hard-to-read engraver's lettering. All this hovered as if projected on the inside of the glass case, above the valves and sparse wiring.

And yet, despite this fantasy of valvepunk technology, the phone was definitely still my green Pika. And Gene and David were gently teasing me about it.

20 September 2011

Hot crisps test: here soon

Coming soon: a giant test of chilli-flavoured crisps, including established faves such as Nando's Hot crisps and Chilli Heatwave Doritos as well as newbies such as Seabrook's Two Chillies and those new evil-looking fire-labelled Doritos whose name I forget. Stocking up...

18 September 2011

Causing unintentional alarm

One morning a few days ago I was out in town (well, Wincanton, which qualifies as a town despite its being twinned with Ankh-Morpork of Discworld fame - anent which more at some point, possibly). After half an hour or so of receiving strange and/or alarmed looks from old ladies and other nervous souls, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a window and it dawned on me: the upturned collar of my new all-weather fleece was giving me a distinctly vampiric mien. Note to self: avoid unintentional Vincent Price impersonations.